children, parents, and sitters.
“Children, oh children, they’re my least favorite kind of people.” - Forgot
Any close friend of mine would know that I’m not a fan of children, thou I find myself working for them most of the time—children’s magazine, children’s shoes, health products, etc.
All but one, I love-love-love my nephew Sabil. He’s the closest thing I’ll ever get to a kid, since I’m not planning on having one—for now. He’s cute, bright, polite, and adorably mischievous. Unlike those dirty lil brats.
He’s been living with us for a while now, his Mom & Dad are in Semarang, his Dad is finishing his med school, and his Mom—my sister—is accompanying him while working at a Bank. Taking care of him is a lot, he’s a kid, he takes up most of our time, my Dad, my Mom (mostly), me, and my lil sister. But he’s worth it. His smile, his laughter, his joy is worth every sweat. And I am grateful that he’s not as bad as the other kids, have I mentioned that?
I’m always amazed at some people who decided to have children, but once they have them, they pay someone to take care of them. Some because both parents are too busy working. Working for what? Money. For who? For their children’s future of course. They concentrate so much on their kids’s future they’re missing out on their most precious moments, their golden years. etc. Besides, little did they know, all their children ever wanted was plenty of quality time with their Mom & Dad, not some stranger(s) who are paid to look after them.
I just don’t understand when people started complaining about how bad their sitters were, how irresponsible they were, etc. Well, flash news, if anyone is to blame for, it’s you. They are YOUR children, you wanted them, right? Why don’t YOU take care of them?! What do you expect from someone who gets paid to look after your children? To them your children is nothing but a ‘job’, And we know how we feel about jobs right? Furthermore, if your sitter is doing a great job, THEN you should worry, because maybe they will love their sitter more than you. They’ll remember who’s willing to wipe their asses.
I saw a Singaporean movie once. It’s about family values, kids and daily dramas. The one thing I remembered above all is when the boy in the movie, a kindergarten, missed his Dad so much, cos he’s barely home. He’s a very busy man, always travelling, working as a keynote speaker or some sort. The boy missed him so much, he started saving some money, for what? So that he can ‘pay’ for his Dad’s time, even just for a bit, just like his clients did—heart breaking. The boy ran in to some trouble saving money and the school called his parents and they scolded him so bad, he cried his tears out. But upon realizing the boy’s intention his Mom & Dad burst into tears—I cried a bit too.
Other reason were even less appealing. Because they’re disgusted. Grossed out by the fact that children are factories of poop, drool, and other bodily fluids. So they pay people to clean after them and play with them when they’re nice and clean—you don’t need a baby, you need a pet.
“If you’re grossed out and choose to pay someone to look after your children, don’t be surprised if someday they’re grossed out and decided to pay someone to clean and take care of you when you’re old and disabled.”
I started writing this because earlier Sabil went to my room just now as I was starting to work. He wanted me to accompany him solving a puzzle book. Then turned into a learning session, cos he’s having trouble reading. Impatience that I am, I started raising my tone, and I could tell that he’s uncomfortable and sad. I completely forgot to give him credit for being such an amazing kid. When I was his age I couldn’t tell the difference between an ‘A’ and a ‘4’ for crying out loud—Bad uncle Julian! Now he’s off somewhere with my Dad and I ended up missing him. I’m going on a 4 days/ 3 nights trip to Jakarta. I won’t be seeing him for a while I want to make the best of time before I left.
Maybe Sabil is not living an ideal life with his parents, but at least he’s surrounded by family, by blood, and most important; by people who love him dearly. My sister is missing out on a lot, she’s got a great kid and she doesn’t even know it. Thou I often think that Sabil is better off with his parents, it breaks my heart to even think about being separated from him.
